Anybody Listening?

"Do You Hear What I Hear?" It’s a lovely song and melody no matter what holiday you celebrate in December. I heard it on the radio just now and it got me thinking…Does anyone really hear what others hear? And more importantly, does anyone care to truly listen?

We all want to be heard. It makes us feel valued...significant...like we belong. It’s a universal desire that crosses cultures, countries, religions, and political affiliations. It’s one of the ties binding us to others. Yet, how many of us are really listening to make sure that others are heard instead of listening to the echo chamber of our own voices?

Very few of us have received any guidance or training on how to listen well. Mostly, we are taught to make sure our own voices are heard. Is this important? Yes. Critical to success in life? Yes. Equally important is the art of listening. Listening for the sake of listening only. Temporarily abandoning our incessant mind chatter that focuses on what comment we might add; what clever thing we might say; how our voices will sound and be received. Instead simply listening to hear.

When we think of the best people in our lives - the ones who are there for us, who champion us, who challenge us in the most positive ways, who enhance our lives and lift us up – who are those people? Whether a friend, a family member, a work colleague, a leader, a community member – my guess is those are the people who make us feel heard. Who are you making feel heard?

A simple acronym that can remind us to listen is RASA.

Receive: Lock eyes, put away your device, and open yourself up to what’s being said with unwavering attention

Appreciate: Communicate your understanding with a simple nod, or facial expression letting the person know for sure “I hear you and I am here for you”

Summarize:  When the person is done speaking, consider “What I hear you saying is…”

Ask: Have I got that right? Leaving room for that answer to be "no". If so, repeat.

So here we are, at the end of a decade, ready to face 2020 and all the joys, triumphs, opportunities, heartaches, and losses that a new year and a new decade will surely bring. Listening for the sake of listening - through the good times and the less good times - will help us all absorb everything that is coming our way with a whole heart, an open mind and our true selves.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! Here’s to the 2020’s!!